Why Your Mind Matters

Beauty is only skin-deep or so they say.  I don’t believe a word of it and I don’t believe that you should either. You see the skin, while important is only one slice of the beauty cake and what you put onto your skin is mealy icing – a visual treat, a mind teaser, a promise of something amazing. But it is still only icing and who wants to eat a bowl of that? *

For me beauty is all about the mind and if you care to stop by for a moment or two, I will elaborate.

Are you after anti-ageing or are you pro-age?  Are you looking for visibly clearer skin or are you looking for a fight (acne fighter’s choice awards).  Then there is the “go Brazilian” mob, the “naturally safe” crowd, the “Hollywood smile” cheerleaders and the “brush away flaws” camp who promise to make you look just gorgeous in a Stepford wife kind of way.   If you thought you were one of the lucky ones, naturally blessed with gorgeousness, we can find a product to make you feel a little less secure, I mean hair just SHOULDN’T grow their!

So, am I anti the industry?  Am I turning my back on the friends that have fed me for the last eleven years? Am I despairing of the shallowness of it all? NOT AT ALL.  As I have said before, the mind matters and it is with sound mind and a strong sense of self that one should venture into the wonderful world that exists at the cosmetic counter.

We can all stand in front of the mirror and point out all of those bits that are clearly not Hollywood.  Stare at an elbow for long enough and it looks like something that Dumbo would be proud of,  those wrinkles that form when we smile are just too (what?) to human?   So much uneven pigmentation after a youth spent basking, olive oiled in the summer sun (ouch).  We are walking examples of imperfection just waiting to be cured.  Only curing our skin will not remove the problem. The problem is deeper.

You see it goes back to the anti-age / pro-age debate. What do we expect to look like at our age (20,30,40,50, 80 whatever?) what does it matter what we look like at our age? What about we stop looking?   What about if we stop looking and start feeling?  Are we getting somewhere……

Standing in front of the mirror is confronting for many. That extra bar of chocolate is showing, the cancelled gym membership, the late nights, the not enough water, the stress of life. We see it right there, staring at us and reminding us of all of those “could have, should have” moments where we opted for the easy ride.  But to stand there and pull ourselves to pieces is not helping any, as we throw our stones it hurts and we slink away, further and further from the person that we wanted to be. We seal our own fate and pit mind against body. It doesn’t have to be that way.

Before we can ice the cake, we must make the cake.

I encourage you to stand in front of the mirror and think. Think about the great things that you have accomplished (parenthood, promotion, keeping the house clean, being well read, and being a great friend, a lover, a good citizen).  Think about how far your body has carried you, how many lives your hands have touched, how many smiles you have initiated, how many kind words you have spoken.  It is not about thinking that your wonderful or special or unique (although you are) it is all about embracing you, as you are, warts and all as a real life example of imperfection striving for fun and celebrating being.

As babies, we rejoiced in every achievement, we clapped ourselves; we sought out praise and acceptance. Sometimes we got it, sometimes we didn’t but we didn’t give up easily and nor should we now.

Accepting is better than tolerating.

To tolerate means that we put up with what is. We don’t want to do that with our bodies, with our beauty! To accept is to make peace with what we have and move on. We can’t make our legs longer (we can make them look longer) we can’t make our lips plumper (but we can make them look bigger), we can’t make our curly hair grow straight (but we can fashion it that way).  Now we are getting somewhere.

The importance of acceptance can’t be understated. We all have to sit down and have a chat to ourselves. We have to accept what we have and then move on.  How we move on is where the industry that I love comes into play.  And now that cake is cooking!

Icing the cake.

I believe in the icing on the cake. I believe that it enhances our lives; it brings colour, personality and a little flavour. It can be our badge, our calling card or it can be our savior. What it can’t be (or shouldn’t need to be) is our security blanket. We are beautiful naked.

So, if you want a Hollywood smile then why not? If you want to reduce the appearance of your wrinkles then go for it. If you want a year round Hawaiian tan then please, feel free. The world is your oyster; your skin is your canvas.  We don’t just paint a room because the plasterboard is boring; we paint a room to create a vision, to make us feel more at home, to reflect our personality. Same, Same.

But not all cakes need icing.

The point?  We are all amazing, we all have stories to tell and lives that are far more exciting than we could even imagine.  That needs to be celebrated and enjoyed. We need to feel good about being. It is only then once we can accept what we are and embrace what we can become that we can have fun dressing it up (or not)!  The beauty that we can achieve through our lipstick and powder may only be skin deep but when applied to a sumptuous base, anything is possible.

So the next time you read that beauty is only skin deep you can agree to disagree because we know that beauty is sooo much more than that.

Realize  Beauty. Love life. Celebrate you!

*Like many, I have eaten a bowl of icing, frosting, cream topping etc and it is good. Once.  The novelty of great topping wears off leaving you feel a little disappointed really.