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Beauty on the Inside – Christmas Wind!

December 21, 2009

At Realize Beauty HQ we believe that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes BUT one thing that isn’t beautiful is  flatulence!  Passing wind does NOT constitute as a suitable Christmas gift and although we do agree that it is better out than in, there is a time and a place.

Don't blow it. Undies from istockphoto

You see the trouble is this, we sit down more, eat lots of rich food, over-indulge, drink more than usual and wake at erratic times. All of this can put the digestive system into a tail spin and that can spell Christmas thunder pants.

So, how can you have a silent (day) and night?

1.     Table Manners.

 Ok, so it may be BOOOORIING to sit at the table with a straight back, only talking when food has been swallowed and sipping rather than sculling our drinks, but these little rules were made for a good reason – there was no room for a lady to fart in her corset and Gentlemen would have been in danger of extinguishing those expensive cigars should the wind have taken hold.  If all else fails, just try to limit talking with your mouth full – it looks foul and the air that you inhale while doing so has to escape from somewhere later! NOT BEAUTIFUL.

2. Try the ‘erbs.

Ginger, Fennel, Basil,  Lemon and Peppermint have all been proven to reduce flatulence.  These can be taken in the form of an herbal tea or, as is the case with Fennel,  chewed after a meal as is traditional in Indian cuisine.  These  herbs all help to relax the digestive tract, lessening the spasms that can cause wind pains.

3.  No Fizzy after 5.

Another boooooring rule and one that you should use as a rough guide rather than something set in stone. Fizzy, carbonated drinks are a no-no for people prone to a bit of wind for the obvious reasons. The gas that you put in has to come out – try water,  cordial or milk (if you are not allergic).

4. Stretch and Massage.

If you start to get ‘that’ feeling try doing some gentle stretches to get the gut moving – if you are stuck at an all-night party, suggest some dancing rather than a game of  ‘Twister’ as the music will hide any sounds that may pop out!  Yoga is also good but you may feel like a goof ball trying to down-face dog in your Jimmy Choo’s and Cocktail dress.

Massage can be a great way of easing the pain of trapped wind and can get things moving again. Don’t massage with any force straight after eating though as this can make you feel a whole lot worse!

5.  Medicate.

If all else fails there are some great over-the-counter medicines that you can try to ease the wind, most of which are naturally based.  If you are suffering from an un-usual or embarrassing dose of wind it would be wise to see your doctor as you may have a food allergy or imbalance that is adding to your problems.

So, if you are worried about the weather forecast in your underpants this Christmas please take some comfort in knowing that you are not alone and if all else fails, why not get yourself some Under-EZ undies . These pants which were launched recently in the USA promise to suck up your fart odour so while muffling the sound (I made that bit up), may be worth a try……

Try to have a silent night this Christmas – it’s all in the name of Beauty!

3 Comments leave one →
  1. December 22, 2009 3:07 pm

    LMAO! What a hilarious post! Love the red undies:)

  2. December 22, 2009 9:27 pm

    Very funny! Yes, and in Australia, it’s all about stone fruit at christmas and that also gets the wind going!!

    Although champagne isn’t actually ‘carbonated’ it also produces gas. Gas in = gas out.

    Thanks for that. No christmas thunder pants this year please!



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