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Business 101 – Is Emotion Taking You Over?

February 19, 2014

OK so for some reason this week I have two things on my mind – music and business communication.  Why?  Well it might be because I’m having emotion flung into my ears from all directions this week – it’s all good people,  I am a great listener so vent away!

This morning I received a phone call that was emotionally charged.  The caller had been trying to contact me last night – 15 missed calls because of  an email that I had sent requesting something or another – details not important but it wasn’t anything that noteworthy in my head.  Anyway, it clearly triggered something in the person who finally reached me today as by the time I spoke to them they were so emotionally charged I could have used them as a catalyst in my next lab session.

We all feel small sometimes but we all feel bigger when we are loved.

We all feel small sometimes but we all feel bigger when we are loved.

While listening to this person offload and explain why my simple request had been so triggering (I could absolutely see where they were coming from) I remembered a similar exchange with my daughter this morning.  She wanted to write a schedule for her homework and couldn’t spell some word or another.  I looked it up (I can’t spell either) and was reading it out letter by letter to her.   I could actually see the moment where she stopped hearing what I said and heard what she wanted me to say – what confirmed her belief about how the word should be spelled.  I saw that split second, felt that cog  grind to a halt and saw the gap that was left fill up with the darkness of doubt, anger, frustration and pain.

At that moment to my daughter it wasn’t just a word she couldn’t spell, it was the fact that she was feeling stupid and even though I had my hands out to hold her, to comfort her and to take her to the other side she wasn’t ready to accept.

I tell you this because that is exactly how I felt listening to the caller this morning.  She had seen my email and read something into it that was making her angry, frustrated, suspicious and downright annoyed.  Not so much at me but at the consequences that had led to me contacting her.  Consequences that were and remain out of her control.

I know that this is all sounding a bit cryptic but I don’t want to embarrass anyone and anyway there is no need, the details aren’t as important as the action in this case.

Anyway, after finding some common ground both with my daughter and my caller the situations were both diffused, we all got what we needed and moved on.

In business I have found that working on our emotional intelligence is very important and this links back nicely to what I talked about yesterday in my article “Jump on my shoulders“.   Recognising our triggers, reading the energy and motivators of others and then finding the strength to step back  helps us to avoid blowing up, seeing what is not there and missing the obvious.

Thank you Bee Gees for the soundtrack to my morning dramas.

“it’s just emotion that’s taking me over

tied up in sorrow lost in my soul’

Happy Wednesday everyone.

Amanda x

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