A look at how looks can change your day
I’ve never really been one for trying to fit in. I just do what I do and if people don’t like it I move on. That said I do have a sixth sense for what people like and don’t like and when the ‘don’t like’ is you it does hurt, I can’t deny that. I guess the trick is to get to a point where it doesn’t touch the heart of you and thankfully I’m pretty much there now.
The article talks though an experiment that Marie Southard Ospina carried out, collecting and discussing the comments that came in from an online dating site based on her profile picture – she chose a number of different ‘looks’ and got some telling responses! The whole article is well worth a read so please do click through and have a look.
When I was researching my book, Amongst Sisters I found much scientific evidence to substantiate what we all know about looks – they matter – and while we can’t always ‘(or don’t want to and rightly so) fix’ up our faces and/or bodies our clothes and style can be as fluid as we choose.
Having worked in corporate for ten years I am no stranger to the ‘how you look affects how you are treated’ reality. I was never much of a suit girl (although I did sometimes wear one) and often opted for a much more casual and possibly slightly hippy look around the office. I was OK with this as I rather arrogantly believed that my fabulous brain would more than compensate for my Birkenstocks and jumper. I’m not really sure if it did or not but I suspect at times it didn’t do me any favours.
I guess that now, being self-employed in my own company I have earned the right and wear bare the responsibility of wearing what the blooming hell I want to work and I do. My main rule is to keep it clean and un-offensive but comfortable and expressive – I’m not a tits out or bottoms up kind of girl but otherwise anything goes. I dress the way I feel, to express myself as I want to attract people – customers, suppliers and friends who know ME and want to be with ME and want to share and grow ideas with me and my lovely company. No point in pretending to be Mrs Corporate when I’m really Mrs Woodland Creature!
So that leads me onto what I wanted to say to you. I guess the biggest eye opener for me over the years has been the understanding that rightly or wrongly we can’t stop people from making judgements about us – our character, our mental stability, our work ethic, our intellect etc – based on our looks. It is pointless to deny it or try to wish it away. What we can do though is take some time to learn more about these judgements and the people that make them, to take responsibility for how we portray ourselves and use it to our advantage, to capitalise on our uniqueness, sense of style and identity. Not everyone is lucky enough to know who they are and have the skills to adequately and confidently express that to the world but those that do are truly game changers. Just make sure it is you that is controlling the game and if you really don’t have a clue, don’t have time to care or believe that you just don’t really have a style then get professional help (if you are in business and need to look like you have a clue). Image consultants can be useful in these situations.
Whatever happens I hope that you can have some fun being yourself and bringing a bit of colour and personality to the world.
You will find me amongst the trees with my felt beads and comfortable shoes 🙂